Dreams for peace
by Aqua03
Summary: The journal of a girl who sets out to destroy Miasma. Please read and review.
1. Leaving Home

AN: I don't know why I'm writing this. Meh. It gives me something to do.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FF:CC or anything else.**

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_Day 29, Journal three:_

I can't remember how long I've been up here. Hiding away. I can't remember my name… I can't even remember the date any more. My past is finally buried. I don't have to think about it any more. All I have to focus on is getting this project off the ground. I'm going to show Ronald tomorrow. I'm going to show him what I've been working on. Then, if he approves… I can finally destroy it.

_Day 30, Journal three:_

I left this room. The village is different to what I remember. It's so cheerful. Yet no one spoke to me, they only smiled as I walked past them. I have shown Ronald. He thinks I should continue with the project. My project… the proof that it is possible to destroy Miasma. I will do it. I will destroy it. The crystal, I will retrieve it and destroy Miasma. Ronald said I should find a companion. But it makes me wonder: If don't remember anyone in this village... will they remember me? If they don't know me why would they travel with me? But I also want to know; does anyone here remember my name? I'm different to them all. But I will find someone. Anyone. I'm going to destroy Miasma… but I can't do it on my own.

_Day 31, Journal three:_

I went searching throughout the village today. I had no luck however. But… I did find my name:

Maddie

A few people said it to me. Then I took on it. When people asked who I was I replied with that name. How people knew of my name however, I am unsure. Some people said it was an odd name, and asked what tribe it came from. I could not answer them; for I do not know what tribe I am from myself. It is strange, that some people know more about me then I do myself. And yet, I don't feel a need to know more. Is there something wrong with me? Or is it just my mind, telling me not to dig up the past I tried so hard to forget.

_Day 32, journal three:_

Again, I searched for someone to accompany me. But this time, there was someone who seemed to have to same wish as me. She says that Miasma killed her brother, and she would destroy it, but had no way to figure out how. I told her of my idea. She agreed to help as long as her parents allowed her to go. She said her name was _Kilika_. She's a Selkie. I thought Selkie's only cared about themselves though. Why would she want to help everyone else if she's only supposed to care about herself? I'm going to ask her tomorrow. If she is allowed to travel with me, then I may be able to defeat Miasma after all.

_Day 33, journal three:_

I spoke to Kilika again today. She said she was allowed to travel. Her parents just want to meet me though. I meet them tomorrow. I don't think it's a good idea for them to meet me. I'm not the best person to be travelling with. I told Kilika that. She said it would be fine. But I don't believe that. How can I? I don't even know who I truly am.

I remembered something… something about my past. I don't know why but it happened. I remember what my mother looks like. I remember her name. She has brown hair, just past her shoulders. Her eyes are green, green like the grass. All I remember is her face. And her name… her name is Rebekah. A strange name. Tomorrow, after meeting Kilika's parents, I'm going to ask someone what tribe the name comes from. Maybe then I'll know who I am as well… but I still don't know if that is what I want.

_Day 34, journal three:_

Kilika's parents are kind. They didn't even care if I could answer the questions they asked me. They told me, that I would be successful. They say the reason for them believing this is that there has been no other theory like mine. And mine sounds the most likely to be true. We are to prepare a caravan. Kilika and I leave in five days. That's five days to get everything we need: food, water, weapons, armour, and a crystal chalice. We are to get the food from fishermen and the miller. The drink will be milk from the ranchers' cows. The weapons and armour are to come from both the blacksmiths and even the alchemists are helping us. It's amazing, everyone knows each other. They all help each other. I don't completely understand why though.

I did ask about my mothers' name. No one knew. It turns out no one even knew my mother herself. Does that mean that she went through the same things I do now? Or did she have a past easy to live with. I don't know. Nor do I care.

_Day 35, journal three:_

Five days including today… I can't believe it. I'm finally going to destroy Miasma… destroy it, or die trying to. We have food. Three caskets of fish and five loves of bread. I am unsure if that will be enough… or even too much. The food was given to us as a gift, they didn't even ask for money. That, I am grateful for. I would not have been able to pay if they had asked for money. I have none. And I do not wish to burden Kilika and her family with costs of supplies.

I remember something else. I remember that I have more than just a mother. I have a father, and two brothers. Their names, however still are beyond my reach. I don't want to remember, I don't want to dig up what I left behind. I don't remember why I left my past behind, but I do know I don't want it back.

_Day 36, journal three:_

Our "water" is taken care of now. The rancher didn't charge us for it. I find that amazing that we got it free of charge. People here just want to help each other. It's weird. I'm remembering more of my past as each day goes on. It seems that whenever I'm around Kilika I remember something else. I don't know why… but I wish it would stop.

I remember…I had friends. I've no memory of friends. I don't know their names or what they look like. But remember them being there that day. I don't exactly know what happened. But everyone but me that day, they died. It's horrible. That's most likely one of the reasons I didn't want to remember. I can't believe that happened. Even if I don't know what it was. It may link to the reason I want to destroy Miasma.

_Day 37, journal three:_

Three more days. Just three more. I don't know what tribe I'm from, so we found it hard to get a weapon for me. Kilika uses a Racquet. She made me try and use one. It was difficult, but easier then everything else. The blacksmith gave them to us. Kilika says I should practice using it, otherwise when the time comes to fight I won't stand a chance. I'm taking her advice on this one.

I remember what happened. That day when I was the only one to escape. The Crystal Chalice failed. Everyone was exposed to the miasma. Everyone but me, they died from the poison of the Miasma. Every single one of them. That's why I'm going to destroy it. A killer cannot live. Even if the killer isn't human, it must die. I **will** destroy Miasma.

_Day 38, journal three:_

We are almost prepared. We have food. We have drinks. We have weapons. We even have amour now. All we need is a Chalice. I hope that it doesn't fail, just like the one we had on that day did. I don't care if I die. I've decided that. But if Kilika dies… she does not need to, therefore she shouldn't. I'm not going to let her die. I know that. She said her brother died in an incident with miasma, her family couldn't deal with another loss. I remembered how long I'd been in that wretched room now. Two years. Two whole years of research on how to rid this world of Miasma. I can't believe I was that determined. Now it seems I have to carry out my duty. I have to destroy Miasma, or it would've been a life wasted. I will do this. Two more days. Two more days and we set off. Then who knows how long we'll be gone after that.

_Day 39, journal three:_

Tomorrow. There's not even a day left until we leave. We have everything prepared. I can fight with my racquet now to. It's strange, I have no doubts about what Kilika and I are about to attempt. Is it normal not to be scared? I don't know. Nor do I really care. I'm happy. After this the Miasma will kill no more. Not another life will be lost to its poison. That truley is something to be proud of.

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So… what do you think? It's a miracle if you made it this far. I know it was horrible. But I'm bored. So please review.

And if I made any typos... please be forgiving. I suck at spelling.


	2. Travels

AN: No reviewers… oh well. I'm going somewhere with this… I think. Just bear with me.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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_Day 40, journal three:_

We have set off. Everyone in the village came to watch us leave. To bid us good luck. Some of them were even crying. Kilika's parents were there. They gave us money. 400 gil. Our first destination is the River Belle Path. There, we must retrieve the Claw of the Giant Crab. One of the four items needed to be offered in exchange for the stone. Don't know much of this scared stone at the moment… but I know we need it. At the rate we're going it looks as though we will reach the River Path in about two days. At the moment we are taking it easy. We don't want to wear ourselves out before we need to. We so far haven't encountered any problems. That's all there is to say for the first day of our travels.

_Day 41, journal three:_

We encountered a Moogle today. Guards surrounded him. The Moogle said his name was Stiltzkin. He told another Moogle, Mog, to accompany us. He said that our journey would be easier if we did not have to haul a chalice around by ourselves. So we now have a Moogle accompanying us. The strange thing is however; the name "Mog" seems somewhat familiar. I don't know why. I asked Mog. He said he didn't know me.

I have faint memories of someone taking me to the village. But how long I lived there before I went into hiding I don't know. It seems when everyone… when everyone died. I was found by someone… and taken there. I don't remember anything more then that.

_Day 42, journal three:_

We reached the River Belle Path. However, it was nightfall when we finally got here. Not wishing to be trekking around an unknown place in the darkness we are now camping the night a little way from the Path. It seems the wisest decision to wait until sunrise. If we got into a fight, which would be likely to happen, we wouldn't have as much of an advantage against the enemy. As soon as it I sunrise we leave. Kilika and Mog are already asleep. It is late so it is to be expected. I myself am growing tired now. I must sleep.

_Day 43, journal three:_

The River Belle Path is a strange place. It is almost a maze. It took us hours to reach the Giant Crab. Mog carried the chalice the whole way. No wonder he is sleeping. I am glad I learned to fight, it is tough, but if someone couldn't fight in this place, they would not make it. The Path is a home to two Moogles. They reside close to the monster. They told us that the Giant Crab doesn't bother them as long as they stay in their home. They said they had just moved in, and had nothing to give us, so Kilika gave them money. Money to buy food if they ever needed it. The Moogles gave us directions to reach our goal.

I remember fighting the Giant Crab perfectly. It burst out of the waterfall. It is a strange creature. We had problems with it. It turns out this Crab can paralyse us. It is frightening being paralysed. You can't move, all you can do is watch as the enemy comes towards you, ready to strike at you. Mog helped us there. He can cast spells. Mog's skillsare veryhelpful. If we see Stiltzkin again, I will have to thank him for giving us such a compaion. We have to Claw of the Giant Crab now. Our next goal is Tida, the graveyard of those who refused to flee. A dull place to have to travel in. We are on our way there. I have no clue when we will reach our goal this time.

_Day 44, journal three:_

We have made little progress. We are all exhausted from the River Belle Path. Tomorrow we will cross the Miasma Stream leading to Ironmine Downs. This year the Miasma Stream is of the water element. We collected that whilst in the River Belle Path. This is Kilika's first time crossing a Miasma stream. She pretends to be excited, but the look in her eyes and her nervous laughs show clearly that she is frightened. I should say it is my first time crossing a Miasma Stream, but it feels as though I have done so before. It does not matter. We cross tomorrow, whether we are tired or not.

_Day 45, journal three:_

We crossed the Miasma Stream just before sunset. We are cutting all our travelling close. We are either arriving to late to enter or just before the safest time has passed. We have to travel through the whole of the Ironmine Downs to reach Tida. And before we even leave the Ironmine Downs, we must have the element of earth in our Chalice to be able to cross the Miasma Stream to the Vale of Alfitaria. I've also made an observation: the Ironmine Downs… the whole place is a dump. I really don't want to go into either the Mushroom forest OR the Mine of Cathuriges. Both seem to be strange and defiantly not safe. Well, it can't be avoided. We reach Mushroom Forest tomorrow. Here's hoping we're not late.

_Day 46, journal three:_

We were late. It was about midnight when we reached the Mushroom forest. We are taking the Mushroom Forest route because it's closer. But that's not the point right now: we were late. Is this bad luck or something? We are close to the Mushroom Forest. **Really** close. I don't like it. I'm keeping watch all night. I can hear something in the forest. It scares me. It's like a squelching sound. It looks as though it's coming from the mushrooms themselves. The mushrooms are almost three times our height as well. It seems as though that whole place is alive. I don't want to go in there. I really mean it. I'm afraid of it. I've never felt so scared in my entire life. My hand is shacking just writing this. What will happen in there? Would it be a better choice to go to the Mine of Cathuriges? I can't tell Kilika and Mog that I'm afraid though. I can't even ask to go to the Mine. They'll know I'm afraid. I'll go in the Mushroom Forrest. I hope everything is all right. But I'm still not going to sleep tonight.

_Day 46, journal three:_

We entered the Mushroom Forest. My hands are still sore from gripping my racquet so tightly. The mushrooms were towering over us. I was always expecting one to move, to jump out at us. Mog and Kilika seemed fine. They asked me what was wrong, I didn't answer. I think they gathered I was afraid. Because Kilika said there was a tale about the Mushroom Forest. She said her mother once told her and her brother that all life came from the Mushroom Forest. Every creature born comes from that place. This only served to make me think: if all life came from the Mushroom Forest, then that means there's most likely life still existing here. We came across some places where the ground seemed to glow. I still wonder what is underneath that earth. There were places, you stood on what seemed to be a mushroom bridge, and the mushroom would serve as a spring. It sensed our weight and pushed us up. That means that is was living. I remember looking down back to the mushroom; I could see the base of it. There was what seemed like black beady eyes staring into me. I can still see those eyes in my mind. The whole forest is watching us.

I will not be able to sleep tonight. Not here, not in this place. I may not have said it before… but we didn't exactly make it out of the Forest. We are camping here. We didn't find the Earth element, and there wasn't enough time to find the way out before dark. Kilika and Mog both say it is the best idea, but it is dangerous. They are both asleep. Kilika is comforted by the tale her mother once told her, and Mog… I don't know about Mog. I can hear that noise again, the forest is moving, and I can see it around me. This whole place. It's alive. Maybe I should try to sleep. I just realised, I'm gripping my racquet again. I'm afraid. I don't want to be here. I must stop writing; I want to be ready if anything attacks.

_Day 47, journal three:_

Another night in the Mushroom Forest. I just want to leave. I want to scream. I hate it here. We found the Earth Element. There was something wrong though. We couldn't teleport out of this place; we have to find our own way out. We had no luck in finding our way out of this cursed place however. Nothing attacked last night, but I could swear when I looked behind me the mushrooms were in different places. Maybe it's just my imagination. I'm so tired, yet I cannot sleep. Again, the same situation as the previous two nights: Kilika and Mog are asleep. I cannot her anything this time though. I am waiting for the noises to begin. If we have to spend another night here I won't be able to take it. I hate this place. I really hate it. Why couldn't we have gone to the Mine of Cathuriges? I'm sure it would've been safer than this. There are the noises again; I must stop writing, just in case. I don't want to be caught off guard.

_Day 48, journal three:_

We are out of that forest! Away from that living place. I might be able to sleep tonight. Knowing that I'm not surrounded by things watching me. We encountered no problems leaving the Mushroom Forest. That, I am thankful for. I doubt I'd be able to mentally deal with another fight with lack of sleep. We reach Marr's Pass tomorrow… I hope. With our luck it will most likely be nightfall by the time we get there.

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Heh heh… I don't know where I got the idea of the Mushroom forest being alive from. Umm... so what do you think so far? What can I do to improve? Again, if I made any typos, I'm a horrible speller. 


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